Weekend of Worries

Although it was a nice weekend it was a weekend overshadowed by worries. Worries for our little Annabelle. We first noticed that she was a bit more sleepy than usual. It had been easy to say "she's a newborn, barely even 8 lbs, of course she's sleepy" but this seemed much more than that. Then on Saturday night she became even more sleepy and less interested in eating. This went on for approximately 15+ hours of wanting to sleep and not eat. We knew something was wrong.

We measured the circumference of her head and unfortunately it had grown 2 cm since the last shunt scare (September 3rd). Our research indicated that typical head growth is about 1 cm a month. Annabelle is actually averaging about 3 cm a month :-(

Yesterday, I spent the day talking with the on-call pediatrician and neurosurgeon. We all agreed that she needed a Cat Scan, but the only way to get one on a Sunday is to go to the ER. After a lot of consideration we opted to take care of her at home until I could get her an appointment. We just didn't feel that sitting in the ER for 10+ hours away from the boys and her bed, etc. was the right decision. She had a decent night of eating and sleeping.

I was able to get her into for the Cat Scan at 11:00 am this morning. She was such a good girl - didn't cry at all. I had to take the boys with me which was a bit stressful. Thankfully my mom met us there and they took these fun coloring kits they had gotten from a friend when the baby was in the hospital - thanks McClain Family. I felt so much lighter once the scan was done. Even though we didn't get the results right then, I knew the doctor would be looking at them and we would move forward from there. The Neurosurgeon's office called at about 4 pm and said they wanted us to come in tomorrow. The person on the phone was unable to give me any feedback on the results of the scan, which was super disappointing, but understandable. We are scheduled to see Dr. Javahery tomorrow at 1:45.

I am feeling like no news is NOT good news in this situation. I'm sad and worried thinking about my baby girl possibly having to go back into the hospital. She has made such great progress here at home these past 6 weeks. She is such an amazing little girl. I worry so much about this shunt and any long term effects of a malfunction, the fluid build up and of course the surgery itself. Branden doesn't want me to to worry and get ahead of myself. He's being super calm - probably to balance me out. I'm pretty stressed out and tired tonight. I need to stay strong for the kids - all of them. The boys really feed off of my stress and not in a good way. My milk supply always goes down when I'm stressed - it's just not good for anyone.

I KNOW that we are loved. I KNOW that our friends and family are praying for Annabelle. I KNOW that God will be with her and our family through this scary time. We will be okay - my head knows this, my heart is just feeling a bit heavy.

Tomorrow is Annabelle's 2 month birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL - WE LOVE YOU!