Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Feeling a bit overwhelmed :-(

I haven't posted in a while, I guess it's because I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with life right now. Nothing new is really going on, but I think the realities of the near future is starting to set in. I am feeling so tired and uncomfortable and I have to admit a bit grumpy. I can't stand feeling like this and I'm sad to admit that I have had very little patience with my little guys these past few weeks. That makes me feel the worst! I know it's not ALL me though - Benjamin could clearly be the poster child for "terrible two's". He can be SO sweet one minute than he turns into monster boy. Thank goodness he's cute and that I love him dearly!!

As if the pressures of raising 2 little boys and the unknown fears associated with having a 3rd child with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus wasn't enough I had to deal with our heath insurance company today - ugh! I was on the phone with them for almost an hour and I have to admit I really don't know anymore than when I placed the call. We are trying to assess how much it's going to cost for baby girl to have her surgeries. Of course the neurosurgeon is not a network provider so he will be out of pocket. Okay, I can accept that, but what does it mean when they say they cover 70%, of the 90th percentile of usual and customary in your area - what??? It was a very frustrating and confusing call. We are also really torn between having the surgery at Miller Children's Hospital or CHOC. Now it seems as if the decision may have been made for us. The health insurance website says that CHOC is a contracted hospital, but according to the lady on the phone that contract has expired so that might not be the case. We just need a straight answer!!!! We certainly can't go to a non contracted hospital to have a baby and two major surgeries with a non contracted neurosurgeon. I am just very frustrated. I know it could be worse and that I really shouldn't be complaining. It's just a lot.

My goal is to have a better rest of the week so I hoping that getting this of my chest will help me let it all go. The unexpected (and embarrassing) crying I did at Jack's preschool open house tonight should also help (oops) .

Wishing you a good week and continuing to ask for your positive thoughts and prayers.



Anonymous said...

You have every right to be overwhelmed! That is a lot to process and to get over. I am feeling like, oh my, I am having another baby! All of the sudden I am big! I have horrible heart burn, tingling on one foot, and I can't breath! I went to the doc and she said it was all normal! I did not have any of this with the girls! What the heck! You are doing so good, don't beat yourself up. We are hormonal and it is ok to have weird days :-) Cindy

The Beard Family of 5 said...

I have such a hard time with how insurance companies work too. I just went through 5 different opinions about Jack's situation only to hear the specialist tell me that they are ALL wrong. Nice.
We've had other issues too in the past - people want and need help and they make you jump through hoops to get it. It's so disheartening.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that on an "off" week.... Just remember as it seems you have, that it's just an off week and it will pass - until the next off week anyway (o:
Your entitled! xoxo

5chamberlins said...

Overwhelmed??? OF COURSE you are...and understandably so!!! Do I dare say that I am coming to accept that is just where we are all at right now (life with a young family).. honestly, I am overwhelmed most days and what is even more disturbing is that rather that trying to fix/change it, I think I am almost growing accustomed to it ... not too sure how I really feel about that one!??!?!? Adding that 3rd child is a reeeeeaaaallly big (and wonderful) deal - you add all of the additional things you guys have to worry about with your sweet little girl and that makes for a pretty stiff cocktail!!! So I am going to say something totally unhelpful - and ditto what Cindy's doctor told her - your normal!!! :o)

5chamberlins said...

P.S. Lord have mercy..... :o)