I haven't posted in a while, I guess it's because I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with life right now. Nothing new is really going on, but I think the realities of the near future is starting to set in. I am feeling so tired and uncomfortable and I have to admit a bit grumpy. I can't stand feeling like this and I'm sad to admit that I have had very little patience with my little guys these past few weeks. That makes me feel the worst! I know it's not ALL me though - Benjamin could clearly be the poster child for "terrible two's". He can be SO sweet one minute than he turns into monster boy. Thank goodness he's cute and that I love him dearly!!
As if the pressures of raising 2 little boys and the unknown fears associated with having a 3rd child with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus wasn't enough I had to deal with our heath insurance company today - ugh! I was on the phone with them for almost an hour and I have to admit I really don't know anymore than when I placed the call. We are trying to assess how much it's going to cost for baby girl to have her surgeries. Of course the neurosurgeon is not a network provider so he will be out of pocket. Okay, I can accept that, but what does it mean when they say they cover 70%, of the 90th percentile of usual and customary in your area - what??? It was a very frustrating and confusing call. We are also really torn between having the surgery at Miller Children's Hospital or CHOC. Now it seems as if the decision may have been made for us. The health insurance website says that CHOC is a contracted hospital, but according to the lady on the phone that contract has expired so that might not be the case. We just need a straight answer!!!! We certainly can't go to a non contracted hospital to have a baby and two major surgeries with a non contracted neurosurgeon. I am just very frustrated. I know it could be worse and that I really shouldn't be complaining. It's just a lot.
My goal is to have a better rest of the week so I hoping that getting this of my chest will help me let it all go. The unexpected (and embarrassing) crying I did at Jack's preschool open house tonight should also help (oops) .
Wishing you a good week and continuing to ask for your positive thoughts and prayers.